Wherever do you start when it comes to making a guest list? The last thing you want to do is end up in a tug-of-war over the aisle with the Bride’s team against the Groom’s team.

They say it’s never too early to start on your list. I agree, but only to the point that if you haven’t decided what type/size wedding your having, well, that should come first. After that, the gloves are off, eh?

Seriously, once you’ve decided what kind of wedding you’re having, the next factor that influences the size of the guest list is who is paying. If the bridal couple is paying, then they alone will have the final say. If either set of parents is paying, then they too should have some input on the guest list. Some couples find they can balance their needs by having a larger wedding ceremony and smaller reception or vice versa.

I found this short and sweet approach to making your attendees list at ehow.com. I found it so sensible; I’m going to keep it around myself. It’s a little like making a “pre-list” list.

Each of you starts with a list of family members. Add a list of friends and then a list of co-workers (and so on one assumes).

When you’re done adding everyone you can possibly think of, it’s time to start cutting back. Compare both lists for any duplicate invitees. Decide which side of the aisle the duplicates will go on and remove them from the other list.

Unless you’re having a huge extravaganza, it’s time to start trimming. Who would you be heartbroken to be without? Those names stay. Who would you like to share the day with? Who are the “politically correct” (or in this case familial-ly correct… is that a word? LOL) choices? When in doubt, refer back to who is paying and the size of the event.

If you’re looking for more advice or maybe a different approach, see some of these:

• Weddings.about.com’s Creating a Wedding Guest List The First Steps
• TheKnot.com’s Guest List: How to Make It Work
• Wedaholic.com’s How To Organize Your Wedding Guest List With Complete Ease

What’s key to the whole process? Negotiation, compromise, and lots of patience. And of course whatever approach you take, My Wedding Hero has the only wedding planning software that adapts to your needs.

Start planning your guest list now.