I just read a great post by Pastor Ed Young. You can find it at The Great Mate Debate, see “Why Plan to Fail.”

I don’t believe many of us go into marriage thinking; “When I get divorced.” Pastor Young talks about taking the time to really get to know the person you are considering spending your life with. And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? The person you want to spend the rest of your life with. That’s what a marriage is about. Isn’t that “until death do us part” thing part of most ceremonies? If that is not in your plans, then why are you marrying? Spiritual and religious convictions aside, if your spouse to be gives you pause to think about money and assets first, perhaps you haven’t truly found Mr. or Ms. Right?

I have heard people say, “Well, So-and-so needs a prenup. They have all that money, you know.” I’m sure there are couples who believe the prenuptial agreement is vital. Maybe they think it will be a safeguard to wedded bliss. I would say to them, all the more reason to take your time and get to know your loved one. Even so, no matter how well you think you know them; you will still be surprised at the person they become. I have known my husband for 25 years. I learned more about him through each stage of our relationship, from friendship, to courting, to marriage. I never cease to be amazed at the person he has become and the way our love has changed over the years.

To those who still want a prenuptial agreement:

• Do find a good lawyer who can inform you about any legal requirements for your state. They vary.
• Do get individual lawyers for each party. It helps in cases where document enforcement is in question.
• Do cover child custody and visitation, support, premarital assets and debts, estate planning, etc. The more you cover now, the less you might have to worry over later.
• Do provide for flexibility and changes over time. They will come.
• Do be honest. The earlier this issue is approached, the better. Don’t wait until you’ve sent wedding invitations.

Personally, I would have been offended if my hubby had broached the subject with me. Of course, I’ve never had “all that money” to be concerned with, so maybe my perspective is a little different from the bleachers than it is in the box suite!